Just like on my first pregnancy, I had an inkling that I was pregnant even before my period was late. My brain is often programmed to not get ahead of myself so I still had the feelings on disbelief, excitement, nervousness and secret happiness.
I say secret happiness because I’m one of those women who doesn’t like to tell too many people until after the first scan. So other than my immediate family and my work team (so I wasn’t doing anything risky at work), no one else knew, so as well as my newly growing embryo I carried the secret too!
The familair blissful bubble of excitement became slightly less blissful once the waves of exhaustion, nausea and sickness started arriving. And not being able to share the harsh reality when my close friends would ask how I was, was tough. Keeping the secret this time around was alot harder, but all the sweeter when we finally announced it to our nearest and dearest 🤍
But it isn’t until I’ve reach the second trimester that I’ve gained a true grasp of how turbulent the first trimester really is! In a nutshell, pregnancy 2.0 really has been on another level so far.
So this first trimester… let’s get into it!
The Similarities
Whilst no two pregnancies are exactly the same I’ve definitely noticed some things that has taken me back to my first pregnancy:
- Nausea – waves of nausea leading to a more constant feeling of yuckiness, like being on boat with sea sickness but just not able to get off! Whilst the extremes of the sickness seem to have been different this time around (from what I can remember), this first trimester symptom is definitely nothing new 🤢
- Sore boobs – I can see a Pammy-like set on the horizon in two trimester’s time!
- Increased smell & food aversions – these two are definitely linked and just like my first pregnancy there are certain foods that have been no-go’s – funnily enough chicken has featured in both pregnancies in this way (another boy?)
- Cravings – I didn’t think I had any real cravings during my first pregnancy other than Lilt fizzy pop, but actually it’s been during this pregnancy that I’ve realised that there are certain food and drinks that I could happily live on that could be classed as cravings, because these have been my go-to eats when nausea and food aversion has been high. (At this rate I’m sure my growing bump is half baby and half cupcakes!)
So what’s new?
In a nutshell, three things:
1. The fatigue
2. The concept of time
3. The guilt
Tired of the fatigue
The biggest difference this time around is that I have a little human to raise and look after.
First time pregnant me: returning home from work to put my feet up, maybe watch some TV (guilt free), a relaxing soak and even some time for a pamper
Now: school pick up, sitting down for long enough to enjoy a cuppa (if the TV is on), doing someone else’s bath routine, sorting out laundry and uniform for tomorrow. Oh and pamper… I’m lucky if I remember to moisturise my body after a shower thesedays 😅 Fast forward to dinnertime, I finally sit down on the sofa and by 10pm my eyelids have a sudden weight gain, which is my signal to hit the hay!
So yes…. tiredness and exhaustion has been on a new level and not something I recall struggling with before. Some days the fatigue is prolonged but more often unpredictable, which can only be described like a huge wave that comes crashing in behind you and knocks you off your! #WipeOut
And without being able to guzzle down extra caffeine to alleviate the tiredness, my only aid has been trying to take things slower, to rest and to listen to my body…which has been easier said than done working full time, being a mum and attempting to keep on top of the house! If I’ve learned anything from this pregnancy is that nowadays I cannot succeed in them all so be kind to yourself! I’ll admit this has taken real conscious effort, but it truly needed for my sanity and my health (physically and mentally)!
Time (or no time at all)
Because of the busyness of life during this second pregnancy, the time I had on your first now just disappears in a blink!! The weekly bump selfies are replaced by a periodic snap (if I actually remember), daily doting on my pregnancy app now a quick check-in and reading my weekly update, and when it comes to having time to actually engage with my little growing bump, this is squeezed into snatched snippets of time and before-bedtime peaceful moments!
Guilty of feeling guilty
Finding out you’re pregnant should be the most exciting thing in the world… and at first the excitement flooded in. But a few weeks after finding out our news, whilst on our family holiday, I couldn’t help but feel consumed by thought that when the new baby arrives that I may not be able to devote the same time and attention to my first born and that he would have to share me with someone else. My thoughts focussed hard on this and I felt sad; sad it would be our last family holiday as a 3, guilty that I may not be as available to play with, cuddle with, etc. And I felt sad for my son, a loss for him. #mumguilt
After sharing my feelings with my fiance and he made me feel at ease and whilst being the only child wouldn’t be a thing in 9 months time, we would be providing a sibling, a friend and something that would certainly bring much more joy than sadness. Seeing things from this perspective really helped to frame things and has eased the guilt alot.
So feelings of unsure, doubt or worry can be normal – let’s face it, pregnancy hormones can be a rollercoaster of a ride on a good day! Don’t be afraid to speak to someone about your feelings but if they prolonge then speak to your midwife and be kind to yourself… just because you’ve been through a pregnancy before doesn’t mean this time will be without its struggles 🤍
Whilst this time’s first trimester has been a very different experience, I am embracing the similarities and differences with an open mind and heart in knowing I am lucky to be growing another little life, and doing my best to take care of me and bump as best I can ❤️
And what’s that coming over the hill? The second trimester…. ⛰️🤰🙌
WelshMummySteph 